The Big Red One!

No that's not a side effect of the Chemo!

Red Nose Day today and I have spent the evening in front of the telly trying to cheer myself up as I have gone back to the 'Yuk' feeling today. Whole body aches and I can't get to sleep (look at the entry time of this!) and this is the third night of sleep deprivation. Snapped at the kids tonight and feel really poo, until now they have been OK but I know that it is me and not them.

Had a visit from a certain Farmer Giles which is making an already unpleasant toilet experience even harder. Getting to know what it may be like to give birth but on a much smaller scale and that is enough!

One thing to look forward to, forecast is for snow on Monday! I can watch the country grind to a halt from the warmth of my bed instead of behind the steering wheel! Mind you if its forecast snow then I may get my hammock and sun glasses out?

Will try and have another go on the sleep front, wish me luck.

Note good comment from Mrs T about how to leave comments on my posts. See comments on previous entry. Always good to get your feedback on my entries.

Thanks

ZAP - KER BANG - BOSH

Second Chemo yesterday.

The really good news is that the swollen Lymph Gland under my arm pit had been ZAPPED and the nurse could not feel it! Looks like the Chemo has attacked the little buggers, kicked ass and won - Hooray!

On the other side of the coin had a long day with loads of waiting around. Appointment at 1030 and got out at 1830 due someone not ordering my treatment! Was a little annoyed but ended up waiting around to get it done. So far feel tired but OK and hope that the rest of the week won't be as bad as No 1.

Nothing else to report so speak later in the week.

Thanks

Twas the night before Chemo.......

....when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.........

Chemo number 2 in the morning which I must say I am not really looking forward to, the waiting around and the pin cushion feeling! Know its Red Nose day on Friday but this nurse is taking the piff...I hope..

On the plus side have had five really positive days feeling good with high of energy and no side effects. I have enjoyed doing a little DIY and catching up with friends but seeing the Sharks loose on Friday was not a highlight, boys, you have to get your act together soon or its Sedgley Park next year!

Have spent a lot of time today investigating the worst Air disasters in history. Found a newspaper article from Ireland which described the story of a two seater Cessna light aircraft that crashed in the the grave yard of a west Irish town. Investigators have so far recovered 1827 bodies and it is expected the the toll will increase over the next few days! Love it!

Right, that's about it for today, off to enjoy my last beer for a few days. Thanks for the comments, its good to know that my time spent hitting the keyboard with one finger is not waisted.

Speak soon

Chris

About time!

It feels great not to wake up feeling 'Yuk'! Its been 9 days since Chemo 1 and the last of the side effects have gone. Main problem over the past few days has been bad stomach ache brought on by constipation and lethargy. Have not been able to sleep and can confirm that night telly is worse than day time. Have 5 days to rest and recover some energy before it all starts again! No sign of hair falling out yet although expect this over the next week or so.

I have always been brought up on the saying 'no pain - no gain' and hope that this is the case. Remaining positive and looking forward to spending some quality time with the kids over the weekend.


Vicky has continued to be a rock to me. How she has remained positive I will never know and I am glad that she has got back into the swing of collage and work to give her another focus. I love her as much as I did on our wedding day although I am glad she has lost a little weight!

The kids continue to be great. I really dreaded telling them and using the 'C' word but they have taken it in their stride and understand when they have to leave me to rest. Hope this continues in the future.

No a lot else to report so speak again later in the week.

Thanks

One down, five to go!

Its day 5 after my first Chemo session and I thought it would be good to share my experience.
Monday - After a sleepless night due to anticipation concerns arrive at Christies for my first Chemo session. Clock in and queue for bloods, then wait to see the consultant. Brief meeting then its off with my orange bag to the chemo suite. Been virgin chemoers not sure of the schedule so wait in waiting area for nearly two hours. Now know that they have to wait for blood results to make sure your blood levels are OK to start and they will wait until these are confirmed before making up the sauce.
I am on ABVD, each letter standing for a drug type:
A - Adriamycin Doxorubicin - Via syringe and bright red in colour which makes you pee pink!
B - Bleomycin - Via Syringe
V - Vinblastine - Via Syringe
D - Dacarbazine - Via infusion (drip) which takes approx 45 mins and is uncomfortable.
Add to this two bags of two bags of saline and an anti-sickness shot, you have just over 1 litre of liquid added to your blood stream and for the next 24 hours you urinate every time you pass the toilet!

The nurse was great, as are all the Christies staff I have met so far, and she spends the first 45 minutes going through the process and side effects. Found this hard as I had heard and read it before but this was real and there was no going away this time, it was about to start!
Main side effects are Nausea, Lethargy (worse than usual), Aching caused by bone marrow suppression, Anaemic, bowel problems and hair loss (not that this will have much effect).

Had my Cannula fitted and off we go. No problems with the injections with a cold sensation moving up the arm. The infusion is painful as the drug moves through the veins so a heat pack is placed on my arm to open the veins. All together on the big chair for approx 2hrs then its home. One down, 5 to go!

That evening have flu type symptoms for approx 2 hours and tuck myself under the duvet, have some food and drift off to a good sleep.
Tuesday - Woke feeling a bit tired and after the 3 S's feel OK. Spend the afternoon on the computer and settle down for early night. No bowel movement!
Wednesday - AM asleep!. Finally found the energy to get out of bed at 1430! The only way I can explain myself in 'Yuk'. Very tired, lethargic not fit for anything. Gradually get better during the evening. Still no bowel movement!
Thursday - Bad nights sleep. My bones are aching in my legs and arms. Sensation is that my bones are rotating and can't get comfortable. Get up mid morning but find myself on my bed again soon. Feeling continues throughout the day and moves to my pelvis and face. By evening very uncomfortable. Its been three days!
Friday - Wake hoping to feel better - not! Cheeks and chin ache and again feel 'Yuk'. Have a visit from a friend which was great. Discuss how issues like this illness put things into prospective as his wife is also going through Chemo. Conclusion is that too many people panic over trivial issues which puts the world into mass hysteria. Certainly makes you look at things in a totally different way. Talk to work to touch base, possibly a mistake as feel a bit wound up after. Things aren't how they should be and I can't do anything about it!
Feel fit enough to go a get kids from school and face the outside world for the first time, good in someways but felt tired after. Start to go under early evening with aches on face and chest and retire to bed. Made a visit but it was not four days worth!
Saturday - Today. Best nights sleep all week but wake tired and still aching. Slow morning in bed. Bowels starting to work and it feels better, a great weight off my mind! Family out and chilling out watching athletics. Normal Saturday, City loose again!

Hope to feel a bit better next week to recover and gain strength before it all starts again in 9 days - great!

See you

The story so far

Towards the end of November 2006, I started to feel dangerously tired on my 43 mile commute home, so much so that I had discussed it with Vicky (my wife) and friends and just put it down to the winter blues, dark and wet nights, long working days and a lack of time to start any projects at home. Was this seasonal affective disorder or just a sign of life just catching up with me. I also noticed that during my five a side football games on a Friday night that I was getting exhausted instead of fitter, but like a lot of people I just but it down to one of those things and got on with it. At this time we were also having some work done on the house and a new shower room fitted so I found myself bathing for a month long period. The first time I had a shower I noticed a lump under my left arm, a noticeable size which resulted in a swelling. I put it down to the tiredness and possible viral and just got on. By mid December the lump was still there and I showed it to Vicky and we agreed that I should go to the doctors about it, this I did on the 19th.
The Doc inspected me and advised that he thought it was a Lipoma (gristle and fat ball) and that he did not think that there was anything to worry about. I asked if it should be removed due to the size and he told me that this was my choice. As I had Private medical insurance provided by work, I thought it best for a second opinion and subsequently made arrangements to see a consultant in the New Year. I remained tired and ready for the festive break.
We had a great Christmas period and the whole family enjoyed themselves with some quality time together and in the New Year I felt more refreshed and not as lethargic, was it the wine or the break, still not convinced!
An appointment to see the consultant was made on the 17th January at 0800. By 1015 I had been told that the lump was to be removed on the following Monday (22nd Jan) and had had blood tests and a chest Xray. I thought that the 5 day notice was great and a sign of the advantages of BUPA. I advised work that I would be off for a week to recover from the surgery and made necessary arrangements to cover outstanding work.
Monday 22nd Jan can quickly and I found myself in paper undies, which could have fitted Jade Goody, and a little gown with my arse sticking out of the back awaiting my slot in theatre. My Mum dropped me off and Vicky would pick me up later as there seemed to be no concerns. My time came and as I lay in the anesthetic room I saw the theatre schedule and I had been allotted 1.5 hours for a simple procedure, alarm bells rang until I got to 9..... then I awoke in the recovery room in lots of pain. They gave me liquid Valium to ease and after an extended time I was wheeled back to my room where Vicky and my youngest were waiting for me. My pain was obvious and the little one could not stay in the room and Vicky was also concerned. We chatted and the pain eased until the consultant entered the room. He said that everything had gone well and that they had had a good look around. The lump had been sent off for a biopsy. Vicky asked the simple question, was it a Lipoma? This is the start of the pain, no it was not, he had removed a lymph gland that was infected and it was bumpy in shape! What did this mean, was it Cancer? Without being definitive his words were enough to start the water works and concerns and he left saying that he would contact us the day after if there was anything to be concerned about.
Guess what, that call came, and this ended a horrible 24 hour period. That night we attended my sisters 40th birthday scalextric party and hiding our concerns we had a great night and did not let anything slip. After I told my Dad (a retired GP) and he drove us to the 0900 appointment the next day. What a journey that was, bad traffic, snow showers and all of our heads full of mixed emotions. The meeting was a bit of an anticlimax as the biopsy results had not been released, but the consultant told us that he was confident that I had a Lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system. OH MY GOD! How do you take it when you hear the words, I still don't know? I'm a fit 37 year old father of three and these sort of things don't happen to the likes of me! What are the long term consequences? What do I tell the kids? How was Vicky and my Dad? All of these things went through my head in the next 2 seconds. He did not know if it was Hodgkins or non-Hodgkins so we had to wait for that to be confirmed. Shocked, I was asked to attend a CT scan on the Friday and return to his next clinic the following Monday to get the results. The journey home was difficult with time for thought and discussion.
That evening I told my brother and his wife which was hard. They were shocked but I think it went quite well! It was my sisters Birthday so I held off telling her that night and they were going on holiday that weekend, did I tell them before they went? Also told work that I would be of long term, and explained the reason behind this. A few phone calls came it from various people to talk and offer support which was great. It is good to remove any concerns over work at times like this and important that support was gained.
Then, I got a severe chest infection and was cemented to my bed all day Thursday, possibly a good thing as it took my mind off the main point. I could not get out of bed to tell my sister so called on Dad to do the honours. I don't think that went down as well and that evening a red eyed sis turned up and we all got very emotional. Good old red wine always makes things better!
Woke up Friday AM feeling much better and went to the CT scan which was painless, except the pre liquid that you have to drink! Went out that evening for a drink with the lads which was nice and spent the rest of the weekend playing with the kids and tyring to forget about the Monday appointment.
What was I expecting to hear, I didn't really know. We had done the wrong thing by going on the Internet to read about it. So many tales, so many people in worse situations, you hope, and so many contradicting stories. We gave up before we got too confused. It is at times like this that you really see peoples emotions and understand that everyone deals with issues differently and that there is no right and wrong way. In the end everyone needs support and they will find it there way, it may not be your way but that hey ho. We decided to be honest with friends so that they heard the truth from us and not some rubbish via the local jungle drums. I'm glad to say that I have only had heart filled support and for that I am very grateful to all - thanks.
Appointment time, the biopsy confirmed that I had stage 1A classical Hodgkins Lymphoma (nodular sclerosis). This meant that it was localised to my left armpit area and had not spread to any other parts of the lymphatic system. There were still infected glands in the arm pit but I had got the little buggers early and would be treated accordingly. I was discharged from the consultant and passed on to Christies in Manchester and waiting for an appointment. The news was as good as I could have expected under the circumstances, stage 1A Hodgkins, the least common and least aggressive form and going to the world renowned Christies to be treated. We even stopped of for a drink on the way home to celebrate that I had Cancer! How surreal is that? Dad, thanks for the support, it was invaluable. Sorry you missed you ski trip, we will go next year, definitely.
The appointment at Christies arrived, Valentines Day, that's 10 days away. Felt confused but getting over the idea that I had the 'C' word. Spent time with the kids and doing a few little jobs around the house. Still felt tired and got about 8 useful hours each day. Worried how to tell the kids, if we should at all. Ended up, beer in hand, telling them altogether that I had had cancer and it had been taken away during the operation. I would be off work for a while to have some medication to stop it coming back. Thankfully I have a big nose and the increase in size was not too noticeable! Went directly over the head of the 4yr old, the middle lad found it funny that I was going to loose my hair, not that I have a lot to loose, but my daughter understood and became upset. We chatted for a while on her bed and in the end she understood the position. Should I have told her the full truth? I am convinced that I have done the right thing and am open to talk about it if she has any concerns.
Went to the appointment, what a place, full of happy people going about their business, but so much pain behind the scenes. The professor inspected me and asked questions about my history, nothing too hard. All confirmed as Stage 1A Classical Hodgkins Lymphoma with a slight concern over a shadow on my CT scan in the chest area. Ended up as my chest infection! Treatment would be 3 cycles of Chemotherapy, covering a 3 month period followed by 2 weeks of radationtheropy. Would have to attend every 2 weeks so six hits in all. Start in another 10 days so time to enjoy half term and a chance to go away for a few days.
A bit nervous about the Chemo and the side effects but have found inspiration on a similar blog and read some useful info on the linked web sites.

Two main points to pick up from my experience so far:

1. If in doubt go to the Doctors and get checked out. I thought it was not significant and look at the outcome. Also, if you have a gut feeling which is not confirmed by the doc, get a second opinion. If I had left it then it would have gone to stage 2 or three and the treatment is worse.
2. I am sure that having private medical insurance has enabled me to catch the buggers early prior to it becoming stage 2. If you have it, use it and take no chances with your health. You can always catch up with other things at a later date!

So there you are, my story so far. I must thank Vicky, Mum and Dad, Alan and Shelia and other close family members and frieds for their support. It is quite humbling to know that they are there when you need them and makes the whole issues that bit easier to handle.

Will update after significant events, like the 1st Chemo. Hope you enjoyed my first attempt and that the information provided helps you if you find yourself in a similar position.

Thanks