Hodgkin's Lymphoma Diary

Full Stop

2008-07-12T18:16:00.002-01:00

I got my scan results recently and one year after the end of my treatment I am still in the clear, so its underline and full stop to the past year and a half and get on with the rest of my life...feels fab.

I think these results are more important to me than been told you are in remission as that is just the start of rebuilding your life. One year on you have rebuilt your strength, and it takes that long, rethought your future and how you may have changed your outlook and got you friggin mind over the question 'why me' and all that!

I remember someone asking me just after diagnosis how it has changed my life, they must have been naive as it is only now that I can naturally answer. I will not be and have not been 'plastic' and say what I think others want to hear, or the right thing, I am and will be more natural and honest in my thinking and that is probably been the biggest change to my life along with wanting to spend more time with honest family and friends and not been materialistic, that pisses me off more than ever.

Life really is to short, yes we all like the odd luxury and why not we work hard enough, but to think that we are all owed something is crap.

Right that's my current thoughts out of the way so its onward and upward. I feel great, look forward to some fantastic times and want to work hard in every area and most of all enjoy life.

So unless anything happens that is it, full stop and good night.

And for one final time KEEP YOUR PECKER UP.

Thanks

C

A Grand Day - Thank you

2008-05-09T21:15:00.003-01:00

A massive thank you to every one who has supported me in the running of the Manchester 10K. Today my total passed the £1000.00 mark, double my original target.
Very humbling to think that I can muster so much support from friends and family and I know that the Lymphoma Research fund at Christies will use the money to try and fund new treatments and even a cure to this horrible disease which can hit anyone at any time, either personally or via close relationships.

Got the all clear again a few weeks ago, have a CT scan in June and my next appointment in August. This time last year I was facing my last Chemo - what a difference a year makes - another song....?

Cheers and KYPU
C

Your help please....

2008-03-31T17:28:00.006-01:00

Hello everyone, appreciate it if you could give up a minute and read this.
I will be running the Manchester 10K in 7 weeks time and would appreciate your support. I know that you may have a few requests for sponsorship in the run up to the event, but if you could help me then that will be great, if others, then I understand.

The link is www.justgiving.com/christhomas2

Simply copy the above and paste. It only takes a minute to make an online donation and the site is secure.
This time last year I watched my sister Angela run the Great Manchester 10K raising money for Cancer Research as I was in the middle of Chemotherapy to cure Hodgkin's Lymphoma. At the end of the race I made a comment that I would do it in 2008 and guess what..............she did not forget!.
So here I am, raising money for Professor Radcliff's Lymphoma Research fund based at Christies Hospital in Manchester. This charity is very close to my heart as the research to find new treatments, and even a cure for Hodgkin's Lymphoma is vital to all future patients.
I was very lucky to have a hospital like Christies on my door step during my treatment and the staff are second to none so please help me in reaching my modest goal of £500.00.
I will be running with my brother and sister, Adrian and Angela, so there will be a small competitive edge to the day, and I can guess who will win!!! My goal, to finish!
Thanks for your support and KYPU.

What is in a blog...

2008-03-04T19:26:00.004-01:00

I thought I would publish some of the comments from my last post on the main page because they really mean so much, from the newly diagnosed patient who is starting out, the students who will be helping to treat sufferers in the future and to family members who find it hard to express themselves. The blog was started as an online diary for everyone and I am really chuffed that it has worked and is / has been used the way it was intended.

Some comments are:
Dear Chris
I am a Senior lecturer in Radiotherapy and Oncology and came across the blog when looking for some bits on side-effects of radiotherapy. Great to see such a positive and real view, the ups and downs of being a person with cancer. Thank you for your honesty and I will definitely put this the way of my students so that they see what benefits there are for the patients they are treating with radiotherapy. Good luck for the future. Paul Brown
Paul - Are you in the North West? If so I could always come and talk to the students if it would help. Thanks for reading and good luck to you. Feel free to contact me.

Blogs like yours help me find inspiration for the journey and fundraising I am doing to fight this horrible disease. Chriswww.140miles.com
Chris - Good luck to you with your fund raising. Sufferers owe so much to the people like you who do so much to support all kinds of cancer. Keep being inspired.

I have just read your blog and thinks it fantastic that you kept your sense of humour throughout your treatment. Recently diagnosed with HL and chemo starts Friday - very nervous but reading the blog it provided me with more "honest" info than any booklet. I am determined to remain positive, and looking forward to getting better
Nells9 - Hope all went well on Friday, you are probably feeling pretty shitty when I write this but it will get better. I hope my honest blog with my not too serious slant helps you, and if it does then I have achieved my goal. Keep in contact.

Nells9, Hope you got on ok yesterday, I think Chris's blog is something that could help anyone going through Hodgkin's.Although I am Chris's sister in law, his blog helped me see things from the "inside", it answered questions that maybe sometimes I felt maybe difficult to ask, I felt and still do feel that his blog is definitely a good thing, not just to other sufferers, but for the family and friends to keep updated on his progress.I saw Chris today, he looks great!, and the first thing I said to my husband when I got in the car was that looking at him, I could not believe how poorly he was this time last year. He looks brill!A blog may not be for everyone, but from a family point of view, when you see someone you love and care about going through Hodgkin's, you worry about saying the wrong thing, asking the wrong questions, but a blog like this, with Chris's honesty, the questions are answered, his feelings were explained.Being able to post on his blog, I didnt have to ask him questions, but I could make it known that I had read what he had posted and I was aware of his thoughts without him actually having to say a word to me. Good luck xxxRachael x
Rach - you made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and I never thought I would have said that? I know the blog has been read by you frequently and your comments helped me during the dark days. Glad it helped a close family member as we all know these types of events can be awkward to discuss.

These comments make me feel proud of my blog, something I have really enjoyed doing. Please keep the comments coming as they help so many people understand life with cancer, not only the sufferers but also family and friends.

And for me, feel good in general, although the last few days have been tough with fatigue and a stomach problem. Back to the hospital 10th April. A year ago today I was recovering from my first Chemo, what a year!
Cheers and KYPU

Chris

7000 hits....

2008-02-03T19:16:00.000-01:00

I have just noticed that my blog has had over 7,ooo hits, I must be on about page 50 of a Google search!

I have just read that Wullie has closed his blog and can understand why. I closed mine in August thinking that I was over it but I soon realised that the emotional part of Hodgkins remmission is only just beginning. I think differently and I would like to share the ups and downs with any new sufferers so the odd update will continue, but only when there is something to say.

Last Monday was my offical 1 year since diagnosis and referal to Christies Hospital to the Oncologist. It was on my mind a lot this last week and I am very concious that I am not out of the woods yet but I am having a good go at staying on the parimiter for the next 18 months. Doing positive things really does help take your mind off the negatives but it is always there.

Skiing was fab, great snow, sunny weather, fab resort and top company - all the ingreadients for a memorable week. I missed Vicky and the kids more than ever but three nights is not along time.
Also great to see Steve in the play ground looking healthy again. Keep it going.

Nothing else of note to add so I will sign off for now and update when needed.

Cheers and KYPU

Chris

What a year

2008-01-16T20:50:00.001-01:00

It was 1 year ago today that I went to see the doctor with a lump under my arm and you can read the rest by going to the beginning......

That was then and this is now!

By the way, a very happy but belated New Year to all. Hope 2008 brings great happiness to all.

Had my 3 monthly appointment last week, just bloods and a good fondle and nothing to be found. I don't even think that they are going to scan me in April as I don't have any side effects so Horrayyyy, a better start to the year. Thinking of two friends at this time as they are going through a very rough time currently with a similar illness. S - be strong, see you soon.

Even off skiing to France next week with 19 others from the rugby club - should be quiet and relaxing! I booked it during my treatment last summer and its always been a target - I will go skiing.

Everything else top dollar, Vicky is great, the kids have driven us crackers over Christmas but we had a good one. The new job is good and I am feeling much better, but still have my bad days. It will take time.

One last thing, I have signed up to run the Manchester 10K in May so there will be a link to a sponsorship site soon with all donations going to the Christies Hospital Lymphoma research fund. Appreciate any help you can give me.

That's about it, speak again when something else to say.

NB. Hope this blog can be a help to anyone who is new to Hodgkin's Lymphoma. If it is it would be great to hear from you so leave a response.

Cheers and KYPU

Full time results are in...

2007-11-08T21:49:00.000-01:00

Chris Thomas 1 - Cancer 0

Great news, the lump on my arm was just a lump, fat, Lipoma, non malignant, JUST A LUMP. That's it, I won.

Got a phone call from Prof R today whilst I was at work and he told me the good news. I don't have to see anyone else until 2008.

The relief is out for Vicky and myself and god it feels good.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. Live it...

Cheers

C

Its been a while....

2007-11-07T19:41:00.000-01:00

Its been a while since I last updated and I know that I said that I had finished, but such a lot has happened in the past few weeks so her I go again.

So I went back to work for a week, then went on a cruise, then back to work. I think that's where I left off.

Work has not gone according to plan. I planned to go back part time for a few weeks then increase the hours after approximately 4 weeks. This never happened as I found the return to work mentally and physically hard. I was very tired and if I had a long day (6 - 8 hours) then I would be in bed the next day. I could not give the commitment that I knew the job required so after 6 weeks I began to make enquiries about moving to a new job, not operational but in support. My company head office is 14 miles from my home so it made a lot of sense. Last Monday (5th Nov) I started in the new position in Business Development / Commercial and so far it has been a good move. I am working full time hours in an office environment and the other staff have been very supportive.

In the middle of it all I went to Paris to see England in the Rugby World Cup Final which we unfortunately lost. After watching the semi final with the boys at Marple Rugby Club I sat at my PC, pissed and armed with a credit card - Vicky was a bit nervous, but by the end I had transport (car and train under the channel) and four mates booked, that's it we are off! It was a once in a life time opportunity to see your country in a world cup final, no matter what sport. We had a great weekend and to top it all the lads that I went with did a whip round and brought me a ticket to get in the stadium. I owe them for this and always will - what do you say!

I think that's about it, nothing else to add....

Oh Yes, had my CT scan and the Hodge has defiantly fucked off! I brought my scan forward a few weeks due to not feeling too well in general so I had the scan on the 12th October with the results on the 22nd Oct. Prof R did not even come to see me, he sent one of his team to deliver the good news. My relief did not last too long as a few days before I had found a lump in my left forearm, just below the elbow. I was referred to the clinical surgeons who decided to extract it and have a biopsy. That was a week last Friday and I hope the get the results by the end of this week and I will leave an update. So the champagne is on ice again until this news is confirmed, fingers, toes, hair crossed that I will be free at last.

As usual Vicky has been a rock to me. She is saying that she is glad that I am back to work full time, but I know she does not mean it! I know it has been difficult but 2007 seems to be ending on a better note than it started. New job, no cancer and a very loving family - priceless.

Cheers to all and speak soon and remember KYPU.

Thank You

2007-08-30T17:19:00.001-01:00

The end is near...not of me, but my journey to beat cancer.

The words to this song mean a lot, most of all I did it my way......

I have decided to close my Blog as I don't have too much to say on a regular basis. I would like to say a big THANK YOU to my regular readers for the support and comments that you have given me during my journey. Vicky and I have met (not face to face yet) some great people, notably Daz of Aberdeen, Kelly in Boston and Wullie and Veronica in Edinburgh, all of whom have been effected by this illness at the same time and all of whom seem to be getting through it (come on Kelly). We know that friends and family also read and have been happy with their comments and support, so again thanks.

It has been an education and I am quite proud of my blog and its contents and if it helps someone in the future who finds themselves in a similar situation, then great.

I will post news of my hospital visits over the years just to finish it off but that's all.
Oh the cruise was great and what a boat.

Thanks and goodbye.

The End.

We are sailing....

2007-08-24T07:23:00.000-01:00

Survived my first week at work, well three days, as I am staging my return. It was really nice to see old faces again (as in not seen for a while - not old old!) and I received a warm welcome even though everyone is really busy as it is peak holiday season. I felt really tired at the end of the day so it shows that my body is not ready for a full on slaught - yet.

Vicky and I are off to spend a few days together this weekend, kid free. We are booked on a mini cruise from Southampton to Cork in Ireland on the Navigator of the Seas cruise liner for four days. Really looking forward to putting our feet up and spending some quality time together with a few luxuries thrown in! This thing is huge and even has an ice skating ring, climbing wall and 1000 seater theater. We leave for the long drive south late tonight and return on Tuesday.

This evening sees the return of the Rugby season so Dan and I are off to see Sale play the Samoa National team in a world cup warm up game which we are looking forward to.

All in all, thing are looking up with many positives and not many negatives, a complete swing from May 2007, just 3 months ago! I do feel that I am looking back on the whole experience and I can't believe that it all started over 7 months ago, time does seem to have flown.

Right off to find my sea legs, I think they are in the shed!

KYPU

Hi HOOOOOOOOOO........

2007-08-19T19:37:00.000-01:00

Hi ho, Hi Ho, its off to work I go......

After seven months off its back to work on Tuesday. I am looking forward to it but I have to admit I am a bit apprehensive at the thought. My company have been great to me during the whole absence period and I can only thank them for that, it took a great deal of pressure off me when I most needed it. I am starting back on a part time basis, aiming to work 6 hours a day 3 day a week initially, slowly increasing it to normal hours over the next few months. The one thing I don't want to do is go back too quickly and burn myself out, resulting in further absence and disruption for all, it will be hard enough motivating myself and getting the old brain working again!

Last week has been good with a game of five a side football, playing Golf with my Big Bro, Ady and some other mates and spending time catching up on the huge list of jobs that has accumulated. It really is great to feel stronger week on week and not to have the big grey cloud hanging over your head is a huge bonus.

Speak soon and KYPU

Hodgkin's has left the building......

2007-08-13T16:00:00.000-01:00

Went to see Prof R this morning and he gave me the once over, with the help of bloods and a chest x-ray. Conclusion is that I'M FREE of the 'H', in remission, free of cancer and ready to re start my life after a 6 month break. So from me its 'Goodbye, hope never to see you again' or as my little mate here says, Fuck Off!

Really chuffed that this whole chapter of my life is over and that we can look forward to the future as a family unit. Its been a long haul with plenty of deep troughs that have tested me to the limit but with the support of Vicky and many close family and friends, we have beaten it.

It was really interesting to read my blog from start to finish a few weeks ago as it reminded me of what we had been through. The worst time was the possibility of additional Chemo after a negative PET scan as I thought it had beaten me, but no way, just a day to day throat infection caused the grief and a temporary blip.

If you are reading this as a new comer to the Hodge I must ask you to remain as positive as possible, set a few targets and tick them off as time goes by. There is loads of support for you in the right place, but there is some information on the web that could do you more harm, just be careful!

So what is my next steps? Unfortunately my extended absence from work is over as I go back next Monday after 1 day short of 7 months. In some ways I am really looking forward to getting my teeth in to work again, having more to concentrate my mind on and familiar faces, but I know it will be tough and I must pace myself. On the medical side I have my next CT scan end of October followed my another appointment with Prof R and there after every 6 months. I really hope that these go well and I am one of the 80% that have no further issues.

Finally I really need to say a big thank you to Vicky. Its been tough, we both know that, but we have got through it together. You have been a rock to me and the kids and without you this ride would have been so different for us all. I know that our families feel the same, so from us all, THANKS and we love you to bits.

Today is the start of the rest of our lives.

KYPU to all

C x

Just checking in

2007-08-04T19:30:00.000-01:00

Just arrived home for 24 hours to complete the first day of my Rugby Referees course. Having a ball in Wales, but mixed weather. We have had some hot days but I have to keep my shoulders covered so I don't burn the skin where I had the Radiation treatment.
Read up on Kelly's, Wullie and Daz's log and great to see that everyone is starting to feel better.
Family all well, its really good to have some quality time with them and to be able to swim again is great.
Next appointment with Oncologist is 13th Aug, week Monday so trying to be positive.
Cheers
C

Were all going on a Summer Holiday....

2007-07-26T19:13:00.000-01:00

A quiet week with not a lot to update.

Went into work on Tuesday to see some familiar faces. It was nice to see them and got me in the mood for work again. I think my colleagues were happy to see me and they all commented on how well I looked, just missing the tan due to the good old English summer!! I must admit that I do feel good in myself, possibly the best since October 06, that's 9 months ago! At the end of the day I was absolutely knackered and this did effect me on Wednesday as well, so I did learn that I am not as fit as I thought I was, need to pace myself.

Getting ready to take the kids to Wales as they break up from school tomorrow. Looking forward to the break and some more rest, just hope that the rain stops and the sun shows his face again. I think I have lost some weight since last year, and todays questions is, Did I have any trunks on???!!!

Its just over two weeks to my next appointment with Prof R and after Kelly's news this week, I am really hoping that I don't get any set backs. Only time will tell, no point in dwelling on possibilities!

Nothing else to report so KYPU and have a great summer.

Who is David Beckham!

2007-07-20T22:12:00.000-01:00

Played my first game of 5 a side football (Soccer for the guys from the other side of the pond!) tonight for six months and feel really good. Thought that my lungs could give up after 5 minutes, but managed 1hour with the lads and scored a few goals!

Another step towards normality which is great and feeling good is a great motivator. Celebrated with a few pints of Guinness, to keep the red blood cell count up......honest! This time last year I was playing rugby for my company in the Malaysia Airlines 10's tournament and tomorrow night there is a reunion which I would like to go to. We had a really good laugh last year with some top blokes and it will be great to see them again, what a year since!

Vicky thinks I have the look of DB, do you agree? I like to think of myself as having a party six!

Speak soon and KYPU.

Factor 99 please!

2007-07-18T14:02:00.000-01:00

Its nearly three weeks since I finished Radiotherapy and my arm pit is just beginning to settle down that's to the magic of cool aquas cream! The picture shows my burnt pit, with the lighter area raw skin (or lack of it) and this has been very uncomfortable.

I said time was a great healer and this is proving to be right both physically and mentally. Have decided not to have counselling at this stage as I feel a lot better and am being positive about as much as possible.

Great to hear that Willie has been allowed home after this SCT which has been successful. I know that he has been to hell and back but his feet are on the ground again!

Nothing else to report so speak soon.

KYPU!

Getting by with a little help from my friends

2007-07-12T19:13:00.000-01:00

It took a comment from Vicky to bring me back to plant earth and bring things in to prospective and for that thanks. We were lying in bed one night, me feeling all sorry for myself and being negative and argumentative about everything when she told me not to be selective in my thoughts. It took a bit of time to sink in but she was right, I was selecting small points to be happy about and negative about everything else. Small comments like that can really have a great effect on you, but am am aware that it may take a small comment to tip me the other way, I must remain positive and Keep my Pecker up.

I have also began to read comments on the Lymphoma Forum which has helped. There is a thread Post Chemo Blues which has made me understand that I am not alone and the experiences really help to change your attitude. I have began to get my self in order, working on setting goals to build my strength to enable me to get back to normal living. This includes work who I paid a visit to this week. I have a date pencilled in for my return, the 20th August, that's 6 weeks away and the week after my next hospital appointment! Having had what will be a total of 7 months off I am looking forward to seeing familiar faces and getting my mind into other things rather than myself and home. I know that Vicky will miss me, she putting on a brave face saying that she is looking forward to some peace and quiet, I know you are joking!!!!!!!

In myself I feel good although the burning from the radiation treatment under my left arm is getting worse and can be quiet sore.

Think that's about it for time being.

Speak soon and KYPU.

Motivation...

2007-07-06T10:13:00.000-01:00

Well, then end of my first week with no treatment and how do I feel? After a great weekend, possibly assisted by adrenalin, I have spent the past few days not feeling too good. Woken up with headaches, stomach pains, feeling sick and very lethargic. I am not sure if I have picked up a bug (not from Amsterdam before you ask) or if it is something that people suffer from after having long periods of illness. I am also finding it hard to get motivated to do anything other than basic requirements and my head feels full of broken biscuits. I am struggling mentally to get my life back on tracks after such a long time of putting things on the back burner and as a result I have agreed with Vicky that I will take advise if I feel the same next week, maybe some counselling will help?
I know that you are not expected to get up and run straight away and that is why you are advised to take periods of convalescing, 4 - 6 weeks in my case, but the fact that this is effecting me is a backward step and one that I will have to get over before I think about returning to work full time. It is very frustrating but I do believe that time is a great healer and hope that this proves to be the case. A bit of dry sunny weather will help, agh the good old British summer again, remember it is Wimbledon week!
I have also been thinking about my blog. I do not want it to become a diary of my life in general as it is about my battle with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and the sooner its over the better. I will only update when there is something relevant to share and as soon as I go into remission, then I will close it once and for all.
Thanks for all of you continuing support and comments.
KYPU....

Turn it on again

2007-07-03T09:13:00.000-01:00

Just returned from a weekend of relaxation, rest and window shopping in Amsterdam, oh and did I mention the FANTASTIC Genesis gig at the Amsterdam Arena...

It has to be one of the two best live gigs I have been to, the other being Pink Floyd at Main Road. It is 15 years since the last tour and with no new material the boys (or oldish men) were able to go back to their roots and perform classics like 'In the cage', 'Ripples', 'Carpet Crawlers', 'I know what I Like' and 'Firth of Fifth', not as a montage, but in full version with amazing sound. Along with Phil and Chester beating the hell out of bar stools and drums the whole gig was great and made the weekend a huge success. Thanks to Alan for coming with me and using his previous experience to show me the sights of Amsterdam...and there are some, I tell you! Also got to thank Vicky who put the weekend package together for us, we really appreciate it.

I feel really good in myself, with the Radiation 'Sunburn' causing a little discomfort and my lungs slowly returning to improved capacity. I will start my strength building this week with some short walks and cycle rides (if the rain ever stops). I am determined to continue my good feeling by getting fit and returning to the bronzed stallion that you saw on my last post!

Finally a note to Wullie, KEEP YOUR PECKER UP. It is tough for you at the moment, but it will get easier in the near future and that will result in long term joy for all. Remember, you only need two foot prints at the moment, relax and when you are ready you can stand on your own two feet. Cheers.

Speak soon

Perfecto!

2007-06-28T14:43:00.000-01:00

The cooking instructions stated:

Slowly marinate in a variety of spices for three months, topping up frequently.

Check that all areas have been effected by scanning from various angles.

Cook at 1,000,000 oC (See instruction manual for gas) for three weeks, turning frequently, watching not to burn outer skin.

Result - Cancer free living?

That's it, today I walked out of Christies Hospital in Manchester knowing that I will not go back in for any further treatment, finished, fenitoed, gone, no more! A great feeling for Vicky and myself after 5 months. Another chapter of this tale completed and a new one begins, hopefully with a very happy ending. Feel good, skin on shoulder burnt and red in color, but other than that all OK.

My next appointment is on August 13th with Prof Radford and the next scan is in October. These will give negative results (i.e. no cancer) and my time in remission begins. In the meantime, I need to slowly build myself up and get fit for the future, including work, after 7 months off! I have to admit that I look forward to getting a normal life back again and interacting with friends and colleagues.

Off to put my feet up and watch Tim Henman for the next 3 hours (oh he's just lost) and loose some weight!

Cheers

Home Run

2007-06-25T14:55:00.000-01:00

This is it, the home run. Only three more visits to the radiotherapy department and then I am cooked! Really looking forward to the weekend as I travel to Amsterdam on Saturday to see Genesis in concert, and the reviews are good. It was supposed to be a treat after some rest, but at least I am going, even if it is only two days after my last blast.
I can't get the next issue out of my head. I am not a religious man, but Vicky placed the following poem on Wullies Blog and the words are just fantastic and very relevant to myself and lots of other people we know or who we have got to know.

One night I had a dream--I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life,there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most, you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

It leaves a lump in my throat I can relate so much of my recent experience to it. Maybe, in my case, the Lord has been replaced by others close to me, but the message is just the same. I can't thank everyone enough for the messages, cards, help and thoughts.
Humbled...
Thanks

Nearly there....

2007-06-23T09:09:00.000-01:00

A lot can happen in a week, but for me this is one I have been looking forward to for a long time. This time next week I will have finished my treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma after five months. It all started in December with a lump under my arm which was surgically removed and confirmed as HL. Three months of Chemo and three weeks of Radiotherapy seem to have done the trick and its fingers crossed until my next CT scan in October.

I have four hits of radiotherapy to go and on Thursday the 28th I walk out of hospital knowing that I do not have to go back for any more treatment, and I can't wait!

Hope everyone else is having a good week. Will update on Thursday.

KYPU.....

Radiotherapy side effects starting

2007-06-18T18:42:00.000-01:00

I am starting to see two side effects from radiotherapy, the first is baby smooth skin on the target area with all hair fried to extinction, the second is massive tiredness and lethargy. Mix this in with not sleeping too well and the answer is KNACKERED.......

Not got too much planned for the next two weeks so its feet up and relax. Seven down and eight to go, half way to the end of treatment.

Other than the above, all quiet on the western front so it off to the duvet for me.

One final thing, the comments are great and all read. Anon, thanks for taking the time to read my story and I hope that one day we will meet and I can stop thinking!!!

Cheers and KYPU.

AOB

2007-06-15T12:26:00.000-01:00

The end of another week and my first full week of Radiotherapy which has gone better than I expected. Not too many side effects, a bit of tiredness and headaches if I don't drink enough water! My shoulder tingles for about 2 - 3 hours after treatment but there is not too much discomfort - yet!
We have no plans for the weekend apart from the usual kids parties and shopping for Anna's school trip to the Isle of Man next week.
I must mention a few people, Kelly Kane in the US who had her final chemo yesterday following 6 months of treatment, Wullie Currie in Scotland who starts his Stem Cell transfer next week and will be in total isolation for 4 - 5 weeks and Daz of Arran (well Aberdeen) who visits his company doctor next week to get the all clear to return to work. All of the above are recovering from Hodgkin's Lymphoma and have been a great support to Vicky and myself during the past few months. I wish them well during the next few weeks and will be thinking of you. Visit their blogs, very different but with the same story, if that makes sense.
Finally, thanks to my taxi drivers this week. I have not chanced driving after radiotherapy and have managed with the help of my Mum, Dad and Alan, Father in law who have all driven and waited patiently for the machines to be fixed. It was funny sitting in the waiting room for my turn as you could see people's surprise when I got up to go for treatment and they remained seated. Most patients are much older than I and it dauned on me that it must be a strain on them seeing me in this position. I can't say sorry, that's the way it is, but I can say thank you again for all the support for Vicky, the children and myself.
Off to get the DNA results from Gezza Kyle!
KYPU
C

Frank!!!!!!!!

2007-06-12T20:24:00.000-01:00

Three down, Twelve to go!
So far not alot to report on the radiotherapy side (picture shows 'Frank') although they have changed my dose from 12 seconds each side to....wait for it.....ten seconds each side! My only complaint is the delay in treatments, the first day 20 minutes, day 2, 1hr 10 mins and today 1hr due to 'Frank' breaking down whilst I was on the table? Try lying still for 30 minutes on a glass table with your head cocked to the right and your arm at right angles! I was told that if I had an itch then the student radiotherapist would do it for me to keep me in position, I took one look at Phillip and decided to struggle! In the end they had to re position me which took an additional 5 minutes. I have had no obvious side effects although tonight I did feel really tired.
Other than the inconvenience of having to take 3 hours out of my day for treatment all else is good. If I continue to feel the same in a weeks time I am planning to start slow physical work to re build my strength, something I am looking forward to starting. Maybe I will get that new bike that Santa forgot to drop off last year?
Nothing else so I'm signing off, will update at the end of the week.
Cheers and KYPU.

Frank!

2007-06-11T08:15:00.000-01:00

Well, that's 1 Radiotherapy session down, 14 to go!

No problems encountered during my first 'ZAP'. After a short consultation with the Radiotherapists I was taken into the room and introduced to 'Frank', the Radiotherapy machine...(think about it....)

Most of the time in to room is taken up getting you in position and lining your four small tattoos up with the machine. Once complete its evacuate the area for all others and off we go. I get 2 'ZAPS', one from the back and one from the front. Each one lasts for a massive 12 seconds - it takes longer to get dressed after! I have been warned that side effects may include burning of the skin, tiredness, nausea and sore throat and it will get worse with more visits. Glad to say that after my first experience, I did not have any side effects and hope that this continues.

Besides the above, I feel great, possibly the best for six months. I need to re build my strength gradually and look forward to not having further treatment, the light is getting bigger?

Right off for another frying, speak soon!

KYPU..

Radiotherapy

2007-06-06T12:25:00.000-01:00

Attended my pre Radiotherapy appointment today at Christies to get measured and marked up. A really nice appointment during which I was shown the procedures. Had to lie in the required position so that the radiologists and clinical oncologist could make sure they zap the right area and mark me up with four permanent guide spots. In all I was at the hospital for 90 minutes, one of my shorter appointments, and I have my schedule for the next three weeks.

Other than that it has been a nice week so far, the sun is shining and I feel a bit stronger. I am paying a visit to work tomorrow to catch up and begin the return process. I have to say that they have been fantastic during my Hodgkin's experience and for that I thank them. It is nice to know that at times of need they back you up and take away any un-necessary pressures. I am sure that there are a lot of companies that would not be as understanding!

Roll on Friday when the frying begins!

KYPU

Forward Planning........

2007-05-31T12:41:00.001-01:00

Got my timetable for radiotherapy today and for the first time in nearly 6 months we can start to plan ahead. Appointment for measuring up on Wednesday 6th June with the first 'ZAP' on Friday 8th June. I will be hit form two angles in the left armpit area only and this will result in limited side effects. There will be 15 appointments covering a three week period. My last 'ZAP' is on the 28th June, two days before I go to Amsterdam to see Genesis in concert, fantastic timing as this was planned as a goal after all treatments had been completed.

Doc gave me another physical examination today and could not feel any problems in neck or under arm area. Really thinking positively that my Hodgkin's experience may be coming to an end, but know that there is a risk of reoccurance in the next five years. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

KYPU

CONFUSED.COM

2007-05-29T12:33:00.000-01:00

This story has more twists than an Alpine road!

I went to hospital today expecting a 7th hit of Chemo and came out with what I think is good news! Confused yet?

Hospital visit started normally for a chemo day, bloods, waiting for the oncologist etc. After the phone call last week we were expecting to be told that there was a trace of Hodgkin's still to be found and that I would require another 1 cycle of chemo and radiotherapy after. During the discussions with my oncologist it became clear that I would not be needing any more chemo as the affected area (under left arm pit) was clear following the PET and CT scans (YIPPEEEE). There was a trace on the PET scan in my right neck area which was a cause for concern, but the feeling was that this was caused by an innocent infection and is NOT related to the Hodgkin's Lymphoma and that no further treatment was needed. Both Vicky and I looked at each other not knowing how to react? Was I clear or not? I asked if they could complete another PET scan in a few weeks to see if it was still there but this was rejected as the recommended course of treatment was radiation treatment and CT scans at 6, 12 and 24 months. The oncologist could not give me a definitive answer which I found difficult to accept to start with, but after time, I recognise that he was giving me an honest opinion with the results of tests that he has.

So its bye bye chemo suite.... hello radiation suite! Appointment on Thursday with Radio Man to find out schedule and be measured up.

Confused? I don't know weather to be happy at the lack of HL in my arm pit or confused with the seed of doubt that has been sown? I will try to be both and make good of the next few weeks and digest the ever changing information!

Cheers and KYPU!

A great week..

2007-05-28T14:04:00.000-01:00

Well what a great week we have had after the news on Tuesday! Took about a day to accept that I had to have more treatment and immediately made plans to enjoy the next few days. Arranged to take the kids out of school Thursday and Friday and off to Wales for a few days. It was great to spend some time with them knowing that during their two weeks school holidays I would be under the influence of Chemo 7. We just chilled out and let them loose with their friends and it was good for all of us.

Yesterday, 27th May, was Vicky and my 12th wedding anniversary and we had arranged to see Josh Groban in concert in Manchester so my Mum and Dad volunteered to take over the child care for a few days and we came back. As it was a special day we booked in to the fantastic 4* Palace Hotel in Manchester and made a night of it. The concert was great, better than we thought it was going to be, and it was nice to relax after in comfortable surroundings.

So, the last week has been good for all of us and we have made the most of my first chemo free week. Shame all that will change tomorrow when its back into the treatment! Can't say I am looking forward to the next eight weeks, but if it finally hits the buggers where it hurts, then its worth it.

Pictures show presents from Kelly Kane in the US, Cancer is my pain and will only be my bitch once its is gone for good. The bandanna will be useful as my locks continue to fall out and I am beginning to look more like Kojak every day, and with two more chemo's to go, who knows what the end result will be!

Right, I'm off to read up on Boston as I fancy the DUCK tour trip myself......(with Vic).

KYPU

OH SHIT.......

2007-05-22T12:20:00.001-01:00

Well, what a 24hours I have had. This time yesterday I started to feel unwell with a Gastric pain in the middle of my chest, so off to bed I went. It got worse during the afternoon to Vicky phoned the Chemo hot line and they recommended that I went to A&E to have tests to ensure there was no infections. So off go the kids to their cousins and we trundle off to the hospital.

Blood tests showed that my white cell count was 2.2 and the neotrophils 1.1, both below the recommended levels. No sign of infection in chest or water so I had to wait to see a doctor before clearance to come home. Some three hours later (2330) he arrives and discharges me...not happy.

So its home and a good nights kip.

Then to this morning. Having a nice lie in when Vicky answers the phone: 'Hello its Christies Hospital, can we speak to Chris....'. To cut a long conversation short its the results from the PET scan and they are not what we wanted to hear. I showed a level 3 which means that I still have a trace of infection in my body, so its back to the Chemotherapy on Tuesday for another cycle (2 sittings) of ABVD followed by three weeks of radiotherapy. The rest of the conversation was lost as I found my chin on the floor and tried to put in back in place. I, we, were all sure that I had done enough and that the treatment so far would have done the trick, but not so...OH SHIT!

Really disappointed with this set back, but we have to remain positive and know that this will beat the buggers to a pulp and then we can start to rebuild our lives.

Dreading telling the Kids but that is something that we have to do. Planning to take them to Wales for a few days pre-chemo which will be nice.

So much for normality.....

Cheers and KYPU!

Well done Angela....

2007-05-20T20:05:00.000-01:00

Many congratulations go to my big sister Angela and her two running partners, Lesley and Carol, who completed the BUPA Manchester 10K run today in a great time of 1hr 8 minutes. As a result she has collected a massive £730 in sponsorship money which will go to Cancer Research. Thanks to my dedicated readers who assisted in this great achievement. I went to see her finish the race and the photo was taken shortly afterwards, thanks Ang and well done. Bad point of the day is that I was overheard saying that I would compete next year!

Had a great weekend, feel good and looking forward to a week of normality, knowing that I am not going to be kicked in the guts in a few days time. I do get tired quicker than normal and need to rebuild my strength over the next few weeks. I am trying not to think about next Tuesday but of course it does cross my mind every now and then. I am determined to remain positive.

Once again, well done and thanks to Angela.

KYPU..

Thrillertastic

2007-05-18T08:08:00.000-01:00

He may be a bit potty these days, but I have to admit his music through the years is great! We had a fantastic time last night at the Thriller Live show in Manchester, the music, dancing and atmosphere made the night memorable for us all. Anna and Dan joined in the dancing and Vicky commented that she had not seen me smile so much for a long time, which really hit the mark.

A bit tired this morning so plan to spend the day doing next to nothing.

Speak soon.

CT Scan...no problems

2007-05-16T20:08:00.000-01:00

Had my CT scan today and thankfully did not have the same post scan difficulties as two days ago. All OK and feeling good. Actually stopped off on the way home for an Italian with Vicky and enjoyed the time together.

Talked to the children a bit last night and they asked a few questions which we were able to answer. They know that I have finished treatment know and am waiting for results so there should be no more Mr Grumpy (ya right!).

Looking forward to tomorrow night as we take Anna and Dan to see the Thriller show in Manchester. Will be good to spend the time with them doing something different. The other one is too young and will get in the way so he's off to his cousins for a stop over and really looking forward to it.

Thanks it for tonight

Thanks

Oh dear...

2007-05-15T09:31:00.000-01:00

Well, I think I have just endured the worst day since my treatment began! I think a mix of chemo 6 side effects, tiredness, anxiety and stress resulted in a very poor reaction following my PET scan.
The actual scan was OK, a quick injection of a drinking water from Seffafield then a small sleep followed by the chance to lie in a huge polo (scanner) for 30 minutes, with your arms tied over your head! No results available immediately so its the CT scan on Wednesday and then the wait. Advised that as I was Radioactive I could not contact small children or pregnant women and to minimise contact with adults for the next eight hours. I was given a cup of tea as I had had no food or drink other than water since midnight.
After being given the all clear to leave the hospital I walked outside and immediately felt nauseous, and within a minute I was engaged in a long conversation with Hughie and Ralph down the great white porcelain telephone (flower bed actually). The nursing staff came to see if I was OK and advised that it could not be a side effect of the injection and I was given the all clear to go home with a paper bowl and window open!
Went straight to bed and felt 99% cr4p! My body felt totally battered with fuel tanks empty. Every joint ached and my head was banging. I sipped on water to keep fluid levels up but could not take food, it was absolutely horrible and I thought that I could never recover fully from this. I was also mentally exhausted and confused. I think that I must get very anxious before a hospital visit and everything just gave way at the same time, resulting in this reaction. Had a chat with Vicky and we decided that it may be best if I spent the night at my parents to give me a chance to recover and relax. On reflection this was a great idea and thanks to Vicky for taking the strain again.
So that was my day! Feel better today and trying to relax as much as possible and regain some strength as I really don't want a repeat of the above. We plan to sit and talk to the kids tonight to give them an update as I think they are more aware of things than we presumed. The poor things just don't understand and it must be really tough for them.

On another note, BBC news are running a Cancer awareness week and we watched the story on Charlotte Esler who was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma at the age of 14. The story is quite moving, especially when they talk about the effect on other people in your life. My Mum asked me if I felt the same, and I do. Seeing someone else talk about the disease that you have is quite an eye opener. There is some other information on Hodgkin's Lymphoma on the BBC website.

Finally thanks to Kelly Kane from the US. My parcel with chemopalooza.com hats and 'Cancer is my Bitch' T-shirt arrived today. A chance for me to put my modelling skills into action and a picture will be posted soon.

Right, I'm off to go and find some energy, thanks for listening again!

PET scan tomorrow!

2007-05-13T17:07:00.000-01:00

Have my PET scan in the morning, something that I am not sure if I am looking forward to. It involves being injected with a radioactive liquid that goes into you blood stream and they scan the gamma rays being released. For a few hours, I will be Radioactive Man!

These scans are relatively new to cancer research and with each unit costing over £4.2 Million to establish, I am so lucky to have one within a 30 minute drive.

The weekend has been OK with today the worst day of the week so far, horrible body aching and a bit of a sore throat. I keep telling myself that it is down hill from here and I won't feel the same again.

Finally, I apologise if my last post was too forward. It was not aimed at anyone and I would like Angela to raise as much money as possible for her efforts.

Thanks and speak soon.

Help please...

2007-05-11T11:49:00.000-01:00

I would like to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who has sponsored my sister who is running the Manchester 10k on the 20th May (Next Sunday) with all donations going to Cancer Research UK, a great cause.
I would like to ask anyone else who can help to please make a donation simply by clinking on this link. It takes 1 minute to complete and any contribution is hugely valuable. On the 21st January 2007 I would have probably ignored this request, but on the 22nd, I would have remortgaged my house, it can effect you directly or indirectly that quickly. Please do what you can. I know that a lot of people are completing the run for life race and you may have already donated, if so, thanks, if not.....
I really want to mention Vicky's family who have all donated, including Auntie Linda and Uncle Alan from Spain. Thanks, really appreciate it.

Grovelling over, feet back on ground!

Ding Ding - Round 6....

2007-05-09T08:20:00.000-01:00

OK Chemo 'Tyson' Therapy, I have now survived 5 rounds and I am still standing. You have given it your best shot to down me but I keep bouncing back and round 6 has just started! You always start the round strong, putting me on my back for the count, but I will continue to get up and at the end I will be in for a shot at lifting the best prize of all, cancer free living.

Chemo six complete and I walked out of the room hoping that I will never have to return. Got home and went straight to bed and spent the rest of the day feeling very yuk, bad sickness and very tired. Had a good kip and today seems a bit better. Have a date for my scan results, Tuesday 29th May, a bit of a wait, but as I am on a clinical trial, my scan results need to go to London to be discussed before release. A bit of a bummer, but worth the wait!

Wig arrived yesterday. Looked like a dodgy Albanian market stall trader from Clayton so refused to accept. Wig lady not to happy but there are plenty of others who it will suit and be an improvement from their current efforts. Luckily my hair loss is minimal so no real problems.

Thanks and speak soon.

Last Chemo in the morn

2007-05-07T19:17:00.000-01:00

The day has almost arrived, my last planned Chemo is bright and early in the morning. This is another big milestone and something that has seemed so far off in the past and I am looking forward to walking out of the Chemo suite for the last time. The whole cancer thing is about setting goals, the initial shock and staging, starting treatment, finishing treatment, scans, results, further treatment and the years in remission and so on.
Both Vicky and I have found the past few weeks hard, knowing that this part of the treatment is nearly over and I think that we will find the next two weeks difficult with scans and the dreaded results. Vicky knows how I have reacted and felt during the whole episode and I need her support more than ever. I continue to feel for the kids as they are missing out on some nice days out (we were supposed to be camping this weekend but I just did not have the strength) and with tensions running high they have felt bad vibes and after a quick trip by the United Nations peace has been restored!
No picture to reflect this post so its up to you!

38 Today

2007-05-02T07:43:00.000-01:00

Yes its my 38th Birthday today and so far it has been great. As I share my big day with youngest son Matti, we opened some presents in bed and had a lovely breakfast. Loads of excitement, and Matti was happy too!

Peace restored as Children at school and looking forward to a nice pub lunch with Vicky and my Mum, maybe outside as the sun has got its hat on again. Dad had bugs so has been but in confinement for a few days and I am not missing my last planned chemo on Tuesday! Gives an excuse for another pub lunch later!

Feel 90% OK today after a good kip, with the help of a sleeping tablet. Hope last of stomach and body aches go soon.

Thanks for you comments and best wishes.

Day of no news!

2007-05-01T09:20:00.000-01:00

Morning all.

Feel I must place an update, even though there is not a lot to report so far this week. Think the photo looks like me, very tried and thinning hair!

Still have the side effects of Chemo 5 with bad stomach ache and a bit of aching bones although not as bad as in the past.

Must feel better by tomorrow as another year passes me by - 38th birthday. Share my birthday with my youngest son, Matthew, who is 5 and massively excited.

Enjoying the great UK weather although I am not allowed to sit in the sun due to possible reaction to the Doxorubicin (also called Adriamycin - A in ABVD). Never mind the weather will be good again in the future.

NB. For those who think my picture taste is poor, please think out of the box. PET = small dog!

Thanks

PET Scan

2007-04-25T09:26:00.000-01:00

I really hope that PET scans have advanced with new technology since this image was caught during the early stages of animal testing????

My PET scan date has come through, Monday 14th May with my CT scan on Wednesday 16th May. No appointment with my oncologist yet to find out results or if I will go on with radiation treatment. Have got everything crossed for clear results.

Thanks

Another one bites the dust....

2007-04-24T11:01:00.000-01:00

A classic title...

Completed Chemo five yesterday, only one more to go (hopefully). Had a really good talk to my oncologist about future treatment and the benefits of radiotherapy and PET scans. I think I have decided to remain on the clinical trail and have the PET scan followed by the possibility of radiation treatment. At the end of the day I really don't fancy been zapped and having and all cells in the way fried! I thought that having radiation treatment under my arm pit would be safe but that can't rule out the lungs and heart being caught in the outer reaches of the treatment!

Following Chemo 5 felt very tired and a bit nausea's. Collapsed in bed and slept it off, waking this morning feeling still tired but not too bad. Tiredness is really starting to have an effect, even on my good days. I only had one full day last week with no midday sleep and felt very tired after completing small jobs. It brings it home how much this treatment is taking it out of you and that recovery will not be complete once treatment is over. I need to think about diet and fitness once I can start my convalescing period.

Managed to go and watch my eldest son in the Matlock Mini rugby festival on Sunday. They came second on more than one occasion but we all had a good day and they did their best. Days like these are really important and the memories will last a long time.

Aim to rest totally before my final planned chemo session, I really don't want to be hit by any delays.

NB. Wig due to arrive early next week...honest!

Thanks

Radiotherapy or not?

2007-04-18T18:28:00.000-01:00

Just getting rid of the final pangs from chemo 4 and today been able to enjoy the full day without a sleep, although I am ready to drop know. Have found the side effects bad this time with a solid 8 days of feeling cr4p. There have been a few bugs in the house which I have managed to keep away from but maybe this has effected me more than I think.
As I have a little light at the end of the tunnel I have started to think of life and treatment post Chemo. A few thoughts:

I have signed up for a clinical trail which means that I have a CT and PET scan and depending on the results, I may or may not have radiotherapy. I am doubting if this is a wise move as I want the best for myself and know that Radiotherapy after chemo is the standard treatment and has a great success rate. On the other side of the coin, the side effects of radiotherapy are not good - who wants to be made radioactive! - and I am unsure which will be best. I need to discuss this at length with my consultant on Monday. I agreed to the trail when I was a virgin Chemo patient and having encountered the pain and side effects in recent weeks, I just want to get better and rebuild family life and reduce the chance of relapse. Its a hard one!
Really feel for my three children, they are so innocent but caught up in the whole mess. I have been surprised how they have reacted, in a positive way, but this is because they are innocent. They leave me alone when I am crabby and I know that they must be thinking why is he like this when in the past he was not! I hope that one day I will be able to talk to them openly about it and that they will fully understand (someone get the tissues out!)
Returning to work - enough said! Really will have to start thinking about this although at this time I can't bare the thought of a full days work!

Lots to think about in the coming weeks. Thanks to all for your continuing support and help.

Here's to you Jason Robinson....

2007-04-15T15:37:00.000-01:00

Is that another song I hear???

What a send off for one of the greatest all round rugby players to grace the world. Ten seconds to go and Sale are 3 points down to Bath and Billy gets the ball, beats the defender and in, wham bang thank you man...Sale are safe and will play in the Premiership next year and 10,600 fans go wild. A night that will not be forgotten for Jason, all the best in your retirement.

On the other side of the scale, Marple RUFC lost and were relegated from North West, South, East Cheshire and Lancs (with a bit of Staffs) teams that play with red in their kit! third division. How they miss my dazzling side step, torpedo pass with that thundering pace!!!

Weather has been fantastic with record temperatures for April and no rain for the school holidays. My daughter has burnt her nose and the eldest lad looks like he has been to the 'Reef' for two weeks. As for me, no tanning my toned (party) six pack, does not mix well with the chemicals!

Feel a bit better as the week goes on, aching all over with reducing nausea. Look forward to my good days, especially as the kids are back at school - peace restored!

Vic continues to be a superstar, I really can't thank her enough. I hope she knows just how much it means to me and how much I love her.

Bye for know.

Motivation - and I need it.

2007-04-12T13:48:00.000-01:00

Three pieces of motivation received today:

Great news from Daz of Arran, a HL blogger given the all clear today after his PET scan. Can't wait to be in the same position.
Dates for my CT and PET scan confirmed for week beginning 14th May and by then I will have the last of my chemos behind me.
Mrs T has written a great quote on the comments section from my last post following an unfortunate comment made to us that did not go down too well. I really wish some people would think before the mouth goes into action - this is very real! I am in this position and have to make the best of a bad time, I did not ask to be here and I don't think I deserve to be either. (Quoted below)

Still feel poo after Chemo 4 with bad sickly feeling and the aches. Every time I think of the hospital and injections I fell sick which is not good. Looking forward to the kids returning from Wales tonight although I have to say the peace and quiet has been very nice.

Quote" Common sense tells us when catastrophe befalls us it's more productive to have a good attitude, to have gratitude, faith, hope, and lend a helping hand to those less fortunate. That's the ideal goal. Sometimes despite our best efforts, we fall short of this: we complain, feel sorry for ourselves, feel alone, that we've been dealt a hand we don't deserve. We may harbor resentments for those who've disappointed us, misunderstood us, avoided us, or even deserted us. This may lead us to isolate and fall into further despair.The challenge is to reclaim who we are. We can start by letting ourselves off the hook and giving ourselves the compassion we so desperately need. We can give ourselves permission to take as much time as we need to regain our health and our strength, permission to weep out loud at the loss of our hair, permission to curse God for how sick we feel. We can take back our power and dignity by talking out loud and without shame or apology about our illness or why we need help. Its not our fault we got cancer and there nothing that says we are bad or defective if we don't conduct ourselves like Mother Teresa. (Even saints have their defects.) But we can't do this alone."

Speak again soon

A Sucker Punch!

2007-04-11T12:21:00.000-01:00

After a great week in north Wales had Chemo 4 yesterday and what a sucker punch, right where it hurts! Funny, I felt that this one was going to be difficult during the previous week and sure enough I felt sick, very tired and when I got home just went to bed for the rest of the day. Managed to watch Man U stuff AS Roma 7-1!
Had a good nights kip with the help of a small while pill and today feel about 70% but know that its back to the same routine in the next few days.
Had a great time in Wales over Easter with the Spring Sunshine and freedom for the kids, they enjoyed it so much that they have stayed for a few more days, bonus! I did find the 'good days' not as good feeling nausea and tired which was a shame, I think its all catching up on me. Also noticed that I do a great deal for lowering the average age in the hospital, it really brings it home when you have 30 years catch up on the majority of the other patients. Plan to chill out fully this time. Only commitment is to go and see Jason Robinson play his last game for Sale Sharks before retiring, that is this Friday. Hope I won't feel too crap!
Wig lady very nice and has taken measurements, I officially have a big head! Will see her next time to try on a few before taking the plunge. Having seen the blue rinse models, I think that a BIC razor is looking favorite!
Hope you all had a great Easter and did not eat too much chocolate!
Cheers

Day six since chemo 3

2007-04-01T12:25:00.000-01:00

Day six in the Chemo 3 house!
Since my last post I have had a real roller coaster ride. Days 1 and 2 were good and I even managed to get some jobs done and cut the grass for the first time this year. Day 3 was the beginning of a deep trough and I have felt poor since with all over body aches and nausea / sickness feelings. I am finding it hard to sleep and this is having an adverse effect on my mood during the day. One minute I feel good the next all I want to do is collapse under the duvet. The aches are really unpleasant and my bones in my thighs and upper arms feel like they are buzzing? Can't wait for the good days this week.
Off to the Land of the Dragons few days R&R with sea air. Hope the weather holds as the Easter weekend will be great fun with the kids, just before I got my next shots! When at the hospital I have an appointment with the wig lady to check out my options. If nothing else will be a good laugh. Thinking of the Kevin Keegan or Bobby Charlton look, which one, your suggestions please!

If I don't get chance to update next week, hope you all have a great Easter. Is chocolate good for producing red blood cells, I hope so!

Finally, thanks to everyone who has supported my sisters challenge and helped her to exceed her initial target. If you have not supported her, shame on you!

Cheers

Post note, If you want to view March enteries, Click on March on the right of the page ---->>>

Chemo #3..

2007-03-27T07:35:00.000-01:00

Had Chemo number 3 yesterday and so far so good. Felt a bit sick last night but woke after a good sleep and feel A OK! The Lymphoma nurse inspected my arm pit again and said it felt normal so I think we are well on top of the little buggers! Did not experience any problems at the hospital, in and out within 4 hours. As I have 6 chemo sessions in total, some say I am half way there but I still have the side effects to get through, so I will not be there until I am over these, hopefully after roughly 8 days. Hope this will be in time to enjoy the Easter break with the kids.
It makes a massive difference waking to bright spring sunshine and I will take advantage of this over the coming weeks to get out in the country. I am very lucky living a short walking distance from the foothills of the pennines and there is no better place to reflect on life during times like these.
That's it for know, speak later.

Clinical trial - The alternative and green Chemotheropy!

2007-03-23T16:23:00.000-01:00

I may have made a medical breakthrough?
I find the traditional Chemo hard to stomach with an 8 - 10 day recovery period after each batch. I have decided to be a Guinea pig for a trial, still using the therapy by chemicals concept but this time taking into consideration green issues and NHS cost savings. It is called WAGS, with each letter standing for a drug:
W - Wine - Red in colour but this does not make you pee pink. Grown using natural ingredients and no fertilisers - how green!
A - Ale - Locally produced using water and hops from the peninnes. Good for the local economy.
G - Guinness - Purely medicinal? Good for the red blood cell count and bowel issues! Transported in from Ireland and made from the pure water of the River Liffe!
S - Spirits - Either Scottish or Russian in origin depending on availability. Both naturally produced.
The recovery time after treatment is approximately half a day and can be controlled by using over the counter anti sickness and paracetamol products, cutting the cost to the NHS by millions and saving on the green house gasses produced by the drug manufactures. (Think the real chemo is having strange side effects on my mind!!!!!!!) Not sure on the long term results of my study but I am going to have a great time finding out and the real plus is that friends and family can join in! With the small exception of it possibly not getting rid of the cancer, I think this is a winner for all!
Appreciate your comments and if you want to join in let me know.
Thanks
(soon to be) Professor Thomas

What a difference a day makes!

2007-03-23T16:15:00.000-01:00

Queue for another another song.....
The last two days have been great, I have felt so much better with a real burst of energy and a positive outlook. I feel 110%
Had a good evening out last night with colleagues and they thought that I had nothing wrong with me! I have to admit that I felt great and took advantage of this and had a good time, I know that in a weeks time I will feel totally different.
Hope this energy continues over the weekend and I can watch Sale win a place in the EDF final and England win at football.
Chemo 3 on Monday so its down hill again!
Speak soon

Always look on the bright side of life!

2007-03-20T14:27:00.000-01:00

Is that a queue for a song? After three, 1, 2 ,3 ........

Thanks for the prompt, I need something to make me smile.

Day eight since Chemo 2 and I am nearly feeling normal again, just the bad stomach pains which are subsiding. I really hope that I wake up tomorrow feeling normal as I have been down this week with the aches and pains which were just as bad as previous. This has to be the toughest thing that I have done in my life and I am only a third of the way through it! Support from all areas is great and continually appreciated.

Looking forward to Thursday as I am going out with some past and present work friends. It will be good to see some different faces although I am sure the conversations will be repetitive. Nothing planned for the weekend which will be nice, hope the weather improves as the chills are not good for my tulips.

That's it for know.

Thanks

Thanks Big SIS

2007-03-17T01:46:00.000-01:00

My big sister, Angela, is completing the Manchester 10k run on the 20th May 2007 in aid of Cancer Research UK. Please see the link to her sponsor web page and help her exceed her target of collecting £250. I for one will be very grateful.

Thanks Ang.

The Big Red One!

2007-03-17T01:41:00.000-01:00

No that's not a side effect of the Chemo!

Red Nose Day today and I have spent the evening in front of the telly trying to cheer myself up as I have gone back to the 'Yuk' feeling today. Whole body aches and I can't get to sleep (look at the entry time of this!) and this is the third night of sleep deprivation. Snapped at the kids tonight and feel really poo, until now they have been OK but I know that it is me and not them.

Had a visit from a certain Farmer Giles which is making an already unpleasant toilet experience even harder. Getting to know what it may be like to give birth but on a much smaller scale and that is enough!

One thing to look forward to, forecast is for snow on Monday! I can watch the country grind to a halt from the warmth of my bed instead of behind the steering wheel! Mind you if its forecast snow then I may get my hammock and sun glasses out?

Will try and have another go on the sleep front, wish me luck.

Note good comment from Mrs T about how to leave comments on my posts. See comments on previous entry. Always good to get your feedback on my entries.

Thanks

ZAP - KER BANG - BOSH

2007-03-13T11:44:00.000-01:00

Second Chemo yesterday.

The really good news is that the swollen Lymph Gland under my arm pit had been ZAPPED and the nurse could not feel it! Looks like the Chemo has attacked the little buggers, kicked ass and won - Hooray!

On the other side of the coin had a long day with loads of waiting around. Appointment at 1030 and got out at 1830 due someone not ordering my treatment! Was a little annoyed but ended up waiting around to get it done. So far feel tired but OK and hope that the rest of the week won't be as bad as No 1.

Nothing else to report so speak later in the week.

Thanks

Twas the night before Chemo.......

2007-03-11T21:06:00.000-01:00

....when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.........

Chemo number 2 in the morning which I must say I am not really looking forward to, the waiting around and the pin cushion feeling! Know its Red Nose day on Friday but this nurse is taking the piff...I hope..

On the plus side have had five really positive days feeling good with high of energy and no side effects. I have enjoyed doing a little DIY and catching up with friends but seeing the Sharks loose on Friday was not a highlight, boys, you have to get your act together soon or its Sedgley Park next year!

Have spent a lot of time today investigating the worst Air disasters in history. Found a newspaper article from Ireland which described the story of a two seater Cessna light aircraft that crashed in the the grave yard of a west Irish town. Investigators have so far recovered 1827 bodies and it is expected the the toll will increase over the next few days! Love it!

Right, that's about it for today, off to enjoy my last beer for a few days. Thanks for the comments, its good to know that my time spent hitting the keyboard with one finger is not waisted.

Speak soon

Chris

About time!

2007-03-07T11:18:00.000-01:00

It feels great not to wake up feeling 'Yuk'! Its been 9 days since Chemo 1 and the last of the side effects have gone. Main problem over the past few days has been bad stomach ache brought on by constipation and lethargy. Have not been able to sleep and can confirm that night telly is worse than day time. Have 5 days to rest and recover some energy before it all starts again! No sign of hair falling out yet although expect this over the next week or so.

I have always been brought up on the saying 'no pain - no gain' and hope that this is the case. Remaining positive and looking forward to spending some quality time with the kids over the weekend.

Vicky has continued to be a rock to me. How she has remained positive I will never know and I am glad that she has got back into the swing of collage and work to give her another focus. I love her as much as I did on our wedding day although I am glad she has lost a little weight!

The kids continue to be great. I really dreaded telling them and using the 'C' word but they have taken it in their stride and understand when they have to leave me to rest. Hope this continues in the future.

No a lot else to report so speak again later in the week.

Thanks

One down, five to go!

2007-03-03T15:25:00.000-01:00

Its day 5 after my first Chemo session and I thought it would be good to share my experience.
Monday - After a sleepless night due to anticipation concerns arrive at Christies for my first Chemo session. Clock in and queue for bloods, then wait to see the consultant. Brief meeting then its off with my orange bag to the chemo suite. Been virgin chemoers not sure of the schedule so wait in waiting area for nearly two hours. Now know that they have to wait for blood results to make sure your blood levels are OK to start and they will wait until these are confirmed before making up the sauce.
I am on ABVD, each letter standing for a drug type:
A - Adriamycin Doxorubicin - Via syringe and bright red in colour which makes you pee pink!
B - Bleomycin - Via Syringe
V - Vinblastine - Via Syringe
D - Dacarbazine - Via infusion (drip) which takes approx 45 mins and is uncomfortable.
Add to this two bags of two bags of saline and an anti-sickness shot, you have just over 1 litre of liquid added to your blood stream and for the next 24 hours you urinate every time you pass the toilet!

The nurse was great, as are all the Christies staff I have met so far, and she spends the first 45 minutes going through the process and side effects. Found this hard as I had heard and read it before but this was real and there was no going away this time, it was about to start!
Main side effects are Nausea, Lethargy (worse than usual), Aching caused by bone marrow suppression, Anaemic, bowel problems and hair loss (not that this will have much effect).

Had my Cannula fitted and off we go. No problems with the injections with a cold sensation moving up the arm. The infusion is painful as the drug moves through the veins so a heat pack is placed on my arm to open the veins. All together on the big chair for approx 2hrs then its home. One down, 5 to go!

That evening have flu type symptoms for approx 2 hours and tuck myself under the duvet, have some food and drift off to a good sleep.
Tuesday - Woke feeling a bit tired and after the 3 S's feel OK. Spend the afternoon on the computer and settle down for early night. No bowel movement!
Wednesday - AM asleep!. Finally found the energy to get out of bed at 1430! The only way I can explain myself in 'Yuk'. Very tired, lethargic not fit for anything. Gradually get better during the evening. Still no bowel movement!
Thursday - Bad nights sleep. My bones are aching in my legs and arms. Sensation is that my bones are rotating and can't get comfortable. Get up mid morning but find myself on my bed again soon. Feeling continues throughout the day and moves to my pelvis and face. By evening very uncomfortable. Its been three days!
Friday - Wake hoping to feel better - not! Cheeks and chin ache and again feel 'Yuk'. Have a visit from a friend which was great. Discuss how issues like this illness put things into prospective as his wife is also going through Chemo. Conclusion is that too many people panic over trivial issues which puts the world into mass hysteria. Certainly makes you look at things in a totally different way. Talk to work to touch base, possibly a mistake as feel a bit wound up after. Things aren't how they should be and I can't do anything about it!
Feel fit enough to go a get kids from school and face the outside world for the first time, good in someways but felt tired after. Start to go under early evening with aches on face and chest and retire to bed. Made a visit but it was not four days worth!
Saturday - Today. Best nights sleep all week but wake tired and still aching. Slow morning in bed. Bowels starting to work and it feels better, a great weight off my mind! Family out and chilling out watching athletics. Normal Saturday, City loose again!

Hope to feel a bit better next week to recover and gain strength before it all starts again in 9 days - great!

See you

The story so far

2007-03-01T13:28:00.000-01:00

Towards the end of November 2006, I started to feel dangerously tired on my 43 mile commute home, so much so that I had discussed it with Vicky (my wife) and friends and just put it down to the winter blues, dark and wet nights, long working days and a lack of time to start any projects at home. Was this seasonal affective disorder or just a sign of life just catching up with me. I also noticed that during my five a side football games on a Friday night that I was getting exhausted instead of fitter, but like a lot of people I just but it down to one of those things and got on with it. At this time we were also having some work done on the house and a new shower room fitted so I found myself bathing for a month long period. The first time I had a shower I noticed a lump under my left arm, a noticeable size which resulted in a swelling. I put it down to the tiredness and possible viral and just got on. By mid December the lump was still there and I showed it to Vicky and we agreed that I should go to the doctors about it, this I did on the 19th.
The Doc inspected me and advised that he thought it was a Lipoma (gristle and fat ball) and that he did not think that there was anything to worry about. I asked if it should be removed due to the size and he told me that this was my choice. As I had Private medical insurance provided by work, I thought it best for a second opinion and subsequently made arrangements to see a consultant in the New Year. I remained tired and ready for the festive break.
We had a great Christmas period and the whole family enjoyed themselves with some quality time together and in the New Year I felt more refreshed and not as lethargic, was it the wine or the break, still not convinced!
An appointment to see the consultant was made on the 17th January at 0800. By 1015 I had been told that the lump was to be removed on the following Monday (22nd Jan) and had had blood tests and a chest Xray. I thought that the 5 day notice was great and a sign of the advantages of BUPA. I advised work that I would be off for a week to recover from the surgery and made necessary arrangements to cover outstanding work.
Monday 22nd Jan can quickly and I found myself in paper undies, which could have fitted Jade Goody, and a little gown with my arse sticking out of the back awaiting my slot in theatre. My Mum dropped me off and Vicky would pick me up later as there seemed to be no concerns. My time came and as I lay in the anesthetic room I saw the theatre schedule and I had been allotted 1.5 hours for a simple procedure, alarm bells rang until I got to 9..... then I awoke in the recovery room in lots of pain. They gave me liquid Valium to ease and after an extended time I was wheeled back to my room where Vicky and my youngest were waiting for me. My pain was obvious and the little one could not stay in the room and Vicky was also concerned. We chatted and the pain eased until the consultant entered the room. He said that everything had gone well and that they had had a good look around. The lump had been sent off for a biopsy. Vicky asked the simple question, was it a Lipoma? This is the start of the pain, no it was not, he had removed a lymph gland that was infected and it was bumpy in shape! What did this mean, was it Cancer? Without being definitive his words were enough to start the water works and concerns and he left saying that he would contact us the day after if there was anything to be concerned about.
Guess what, that call came, and this ended a horrible 24 hour period. That night we attended my sisters 40th birthday scalextric party and hiding our concerns we had a great night and did not let anything slip. After I told my Dad (a retired GP) and he drove us to the 0900 appointment the next day. What a journey that was, bad traffic, snow showers and all of our heads full of mixed emotions. The meeting was a bit of an anticlimax as the biopsy results had not been released, but the consultant told us that he was confident that I had a Lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system. OH MY GOD! How do you take it when you hear the words, I still don't know? I'm a fit 37 year old father of three and these sort of things don't happen to the likes of me! What are the long term consequences? What do I tell the kids? How was Vicky and my Dad? All of these things went through my head in the next 2 seconds. He did not know if it was Hodgkins or non-Hodgkins so we had to wait for that to be confirmed. Shocked, I was asked to attend a CT scan on the Friday and return to his next clinic the following Monday to get the results. The journey home was difficult with time for thought and discussion.
That evening I told my brother and his wife which was hard. They were shocked but I think it went quite well! It was my sisters Birthday so I held off telling her that night and they were going on holiday that weekend, did I tell them before they went? Also told work that I would be of long term, and explained the reason behind this. A few phone calls came it from various people to talk and offer support which was great. It is good to remove any concerns over work at times like this and important that support was gained.
Then, I got a severe chest infection and was cemented to my bed all day Thursday, possibly a good thing as it took my mind off the main point. I could not get out of bed to tell my sister so called on Dad to do the honours. I don't think that went down as well and that evening a red eyed sis turned up and we all got very emotional. Good old red wine always makes things better!
Woke up Friday AM feeling much better and went to the CT scan which was painless, except the pre liquid that you have to drink! Went out that evening for a drink with the lads which was nice and spent the rest of the weekend playing with the kids and tyring to forget about the Monday appointment.
What was I expecting to hear, I didn't really know. We had done the wrong thing by going on the Internet to read about it. So many tales, so many people in worse situations, you hope, and so many contradicting stories. We gave up before we got too confused. It is at times like this that you really see peoples emotions and understand that everyone deals with issues differently and that there is no right and wrong way. In the end everyone needs support and they will find it there way, it may not be your way but that hey ho. We decided to be honest with friends so that they heard the truth from us and not some rubbish via the local jungle drums. I'm glad to say that I have only had heart filled support and for that I am very grateful to all - thanks.
Appointment time, the biopsy confirmed that I had stage 1A classical Hodgkins Lymphoma (nodular sclerosis). This meant that it was localised to my left armpit area and had not spread to any other parts of the lymphatic system. There were still infected glands in the arm pit but I had got the little buggers early and would be treated accordingly. I was discharged from the consultant and passed on to Christies in Manchester and waiting for an appointment. The news was as good as I could have expected under the circumstances, stage 1A Hodgkins, the least common and least aggressive form and going to the world renowned Christies to be treated. We even stopped of for a drink on the way home to celebrate that I had Cancer! How surreal is that? Dad, thanks for the support, it was invaluable. Sorry you missed you ski trip, we will go next year, definitely.
The appointment at Christies arrived, Valentines Day, that's 10 days away. Felt confused but getting over the idea that I had the 'C' word. Spent time with the kids and doing a few little jobs around the house. Still felt tired and got about 8 useful hours each day. Worried how to tell the kids, if we should at all. Ended up, beer in hand, telling them altogether that I had had cancer and it had been taken away during the operation. I would be off work for a while to have some medication to stop it coming back. Thankfully I have a big nose and the increase in size was not too noticeable! Went directly over the head of the 4yr old, the middle lad found it funny that I was going to loose my hair, not that I have a lot to loose, but my daughter understood and became upset. We chatted for a while on her bed and in the end she understood the position. Should I have told her the full truth? I am convinced that I have done the right thing and am open to talk about it if she has any concerns.
Went to the appointment, what a place, full of happy people going about their business, but so much pain behind the scenes. The professor inspected me and asked questions about my history, nothing too hard. All confirmed as Stage 1A Classical Hodgkins Lymphoma with a slight concern over a shadow on my CT scan in the chest area. Ended up as my chest infection! Treatment would be 3 cycles of Chemotherapy, covering a 3 month period followed by 2 weeks of radationtheropy. Would have to attend every 2 weeks so six hits in all. Start in another 10 days so time to enjoy half term and a chance to go away for a few days.
A bit nervous about the Chemo and the side effects but have found inspiration on a similar blog and read some useful info on the linked web sites.

Two main points to pick up from my experience so far:

If in doubt go to the Doctors and get checked out. I thought it was not significant and look at the outcome. Also, if you have a gut feeling which is not confirmed by the doc, get a second opinion. If I had left it then it would have gone to stage 2 or three and the treatment is worse.
I am sure that having private medical insurance has enabled me to catch the buggers early prior to it becoming stage 2. If you have it, use it and take no chances with your health. You can always catch up with other things at a later date!

So there you are, my story so far. I must thank Vicky, Mum and Dad, Alan and Shelia and other close family members and frieds for their support. It is quite humbling to know that they are there when you need them and makes the whole issues that bit easier to handle.

Will update after significant events, like the 1st Chemo. Hope you enjoyed my first attempt and that the information provided helps you if you find yourself in a similar position.

Thanks